Melding Personalities

In honor of the three choir concerts I sang in this past weekend, I thought I would examine some of the personalities that seem to reoccur in many of the choirs, espcially community choirs, I have been involved in.

1. The Diva: Divas can probably be expected in a choir. After all, a choir is made up of singing people. But the Diva is especially interesting, or at least she believes she is. I say she, because almost always the Diva(s) in the choir is a female, usually a soprano who loves to hear her own voice, uses tons of vibrato, and hates to blend with other people in fear that she might not be heard. Divas often love to wear bright colors so they stand out, and are especially prone to wearing sequins. Frequently they cake their faces in make-up.

2. The Opinionated Church Lady: This lady may or may not attend church, but what she does have is an extraordinary flair for leadership. She likes to have her fingers behind the scenes of the choir, and has twelve million opinions about all affairs, related or nonrelated to the choir, which she has no fear of expressing at length to anyone within hearing distance. She usually has an important job, like choir librarian or the status of a charter member of the choir, and she likes to flaunt this position. Like the Diva, the Opinionated Church Lady likes to be noticed. While her clothes are typically not as bright, she is prone to wearing sequins. The Opinionated Church Lady is often very educated, intelligent, and talented, but a bit obnoxious until you just learn to ignore her when she isn't speaking of something important. (Of course, she thinks everything she speaks of is important).

3. The Quiet Mouse: There are often several of these in the alto section, and occasionally a few interdispersed in the soprano section who grieve that they were given higher voices instead of being accepted into the alto section where they would blend better in both personality and sound. Quiet mice like to knit. They like to have a copy of a classic novel next to their folder that they can grab and read when the conductor isn't working with them or there is a a social break, rather than having to talk to the people around them. The Quiet Mouse usually has brown hair in a plain style. She blends into the furniture, the walls, and the voices of those around her.

4. Bubblers: These sopranos and altos can't stop talking. Ever. The conductor conducts. They talk. The accompanist hammers out parts for the basses. They talk. Bubblers are amazingly cheerful creatures, often short, sometimes plump. They work hard and love to sing and have an uncanny ability to hear even though they never seem to be listening.

5. The Fashion Bugs: These members of the choir are usually young, but sometimes middle aged women. They sing well, and dress well. Usually thin, they have the ability to stand in four inch high heals on risers throughout a two hour concert without flinching. They are impeccably groomed and usually gravitate toward trendiness.

6. The Rambuctious Tenors: Almost all tenors fit into this catagory. Whether they are fourteen or fourty seven, tenors always seem to have an absurd sense of humor. They yell out jokes, often at the conductor's expense, and never seem to really get into a lot of trouble because they are tenors, and all tenors just act this way. They are adept at word puns. They disrupt the rehearsal constantly, but they get away with it because they are so funny. Tenors come in various shapes and sizes. When they pay attention, they have the potential to sound quite nice.

7. The Bass who Can't Find the Right Pitch: There is always one of these in every choir, sometimes two or three. They scramble around underneath the real note, searching for a pitch. Sometimes they have a monotone sound, and others worry that they may be tone deaf. They often don't know they aren't singing the right part, which befuddles everyone, including the conductor who tries to hint that they should not sing a particular song without hurting anyone's feelings (in the case of tyrannical conductors, they are sometimes taken out of the game by a ferocious musical expert who leaps across four rows of chairs, his face purple, ready to strangle the bass in question along with his neighbors on both sides.)

8. The Questioner: This person can be in any section, and there can be a number of them in any given choir. Often well educated in music, with a degree of their own, Questioners question the conductor. They want clarification. They want to point out mistakes the conductor might not be hearing. They want their particular interpretation of a phrase considered publically. Often helpful, they can delay rehearsals with their barrage of ideas and suggestions. Others waver between irritation at their constant interruptions and gratitude that someone is willing to speak up about the person two chairs down who isn't singing something correctly.