Styrofoam Scramble

I never want to see another packing peanut as long as I live. Not one. Ever.

Rushing out of my house this morning, I grabbed the garbage and set it out on the curb. I was thrilled with myself because for the second week in a row I managed to back out of the driveway without knocking over the garbage with the car. About two hours later I arrived home. Unfortunately I arrived home five minutes too late, only to see that the garbage man failed to pick up one of my garbage bags (it was in a black bag instead of white . . . I forgot that only white bags were acceptable in Wisconsin). Even more unfortunately, the bag happened to be filled to the brim with packing peanuts. As I was approaching the driveway I saw the wind lift the bag into the air. I saw the bag explode. I saw millions, billions, trillions of packing peanuts carried away through the air across my lawn, into our neighbor's lawn, up the street.

I dragged my children out of the car, ran into the house and snatched a garbage bag. Over the next two hours Mr. Infant screamed bloody murder in his carseat because he didn't like the wind (How can I have a child who hates the wind when I love it so much?) and Ms. Crazy Preschooler ran around in circles trying to catch the "plastic snow." She caught about three pieces, and I managed to get about three thousand pieces back in a plastic garbage sack, a white sack this time. After two hours I decided it was time for lunch and that the affair was hopeless. The wind was so strong it was pushing packing peanuts into every crevice imaginable.

This evening my two marvelous neighbors, my husband, and I ran around the neighborhood, bending down to retrieve the other twelve thousand packing peanuts. The children had gone to bed. The wind had dissapated into a brief breeze. The evening was glorious. I am thankful for such nice neighbors, willing to scour the backyards of six people who live nearby on their hands and knees and not get testy or grouchy. I am now advocating the exclusive use of cornstarch biodegradable packing peanuts and an immediate ban on styrofoam.