S.O.S. Submarine Disaster

Today was a rough day in preschool music. I entered class excited. I had a lot of fun musical activities planned. We were going to sail boats (the kids brought their own sails they had created at home). We were going to play with the gathering drum and sing sea chanties. We were going to sink down to the bottom of the sea in our submarines and look for aquatic life on the ocean floor. We were going to move long ribbons like eels in the ocean and match our voices to the movements. We were gonig to dance like an orange octopus and move a parachute like a giant jellyfish.

Here's what really happened.

1. Five kids brought their sails. Two kids did not. One child cried because he didn't make a sail at home and didn't like the nice blue dancing scarf I loaned him for a replacement.

2. The gathering drum went well until it was time to bring out the drum mallets. I explained that we had to be careful not to hit anyone with the mallets. Crying Child had stopped crying, but he managed to get ahold of the longest stick and got very wild, wacking four other kids with it. End gathering drum.

3. We got in our submarine and began sinking down to the bottom of the sea. While lying flat on my back with the rest of the class on the basement floor, I asked the first little girl what animal she saw at the bottom of the sea. "I SEE A DIAPER FULL OF POOP!!!!!!!!!" She yelled. Chaos ensued. I redirected her and she decided she saw a dolphin instead. We sang through the song again and the next little girl decided she didn't want her turn next; she would rather be last. Soon four other children wanted to be last. The next little girl insisted she COULD NOT see any animals. She could only see an airplane that had crashed in a firey blaze into the ocean and was rusting at the bottom of the sea. (Gotta love the imagination of a 5 year old). By this time, select members of class, namely the formerly Crying Child were loosing interest and getting antsy, so we aborted our submarine.

4. We got out our ribbon eels, and Formerly Crying Child insisted on stepping on other people's eels.

5. Because of classroom management issues, we ran out of time to do the octopus dance.

6. We called the moms down for sharing time, and instead of using their singing voices, the children used their amazingly ear piercing screaming voices. While the moms were making their way down the basement stairs, Crying Child and several others tried to hide in places of the room that were really off limits (such as under the day bed, the only furniture in the room).

7. I brought out the parachute, but no one could stop shaking it long enough to make it move like a jellyfish. I tried having all the kids sit underneath the jellyfish while the moms moved the parachute up and down slowly, but this lasted about 25 seconds before the inside of the jelly more closely resembled a football field in action.

8. We sang goodbye. I went upstairs and had a nice cold drink of ice water. And I did some major reflecting on early childhood teaching techniques and my general sanity.