Vomit

Ms. Crazy Preschooler got the flu.

I've never been afraid of vomit. The only time that another person throwing up has sent my stomach into lurches was when I was in the early stages of pregnancy (the only thing that made me sick when I was first pregnant was other people throwing up). If people throw up at the dinner table, I've been known to just go on eating, as long as my own food has not been affected.

I actually think regurgitated food is quite interesting. I like examining it on the floor, in a bucket or wherever it has landed. It is very interesting to me to see how food looks when it starts to digest. Which foods digest the fastest? Which foods are most recognizable? Which foods still smell like themselves? Which foods are overtaken by the odor of stomach acid?

My interest in vomit has come in handy. When I was a teacher, I was beautifully calm in the face of puking children. I maintained classroom order with ease until the janitor arrived with a mop. When Ms. Crazy Preschooler in her baby stages threw up all over my favorite orange sweater at a restaurant on the way to a wedding rehearsal in Nebraska, I calmly carried her to the restroom and changed into a different sweater (and in the process of trekking through the restaurant to the restroom probably ruined a great many people's lunches). And yesterday, when Ms. Crazy Preschooler threw up all over the hardwood floor in the hall, all over the bathroom sink, rug, toilet, a sleeping bag, her clothes and my clothes, I just washed her face with a clean washcloth, tucked her into bed with clean pajamas and blankets, and went on with life while Dr. Pediatrician turned green and sneaked outside for some fresh air. And while I was cleaning up the acidic chunks with my little rag, I had plenty of time to contemplate the digestion of corn, peanut butter bread, raisins and bananas. I won't go into more detail here for the sake of my readers.